Real Swamp-wives of Shelburne Trailer

**Coming this fall on Animal Planet**

Wilderness Explorer Bob: “Look at the Mighty turtle, crawling through the grass. “ *Turtle slowly claws its way up to the camera* “The turtle’s native habitat is right here in Shelburne Vermont where it has been known to terrorise cats and destroy vegetable gardens.” *Shows clip of turtle eating lettuce* “Stay away from this monster, it can chop off your hand whenever it wants, one wrong step and your turtle msh with a side of lake-weed.” *Turtle hisses as Turtle Snatcher/Wilderness Explorer Bob pokes him with a stick*

“Croickey! This ones a beut!”

Narrator: Here on The Real Swamp-Wives of Shelburne we only catch the nasty-est of the nasty. *Show group of turtles in a circle* American Snappers are domestic time bombs, they’re just waiting for the right moment to strike so they can take over. *Show dramatic close up of turtle hissing* Their hard outer shells are nothing compared to their instinct to attack. We follow all the drama, *clip of turtles swimming by each other* all the nesting, *clip of turtle digging nest very slowly*  and loosely translate what the turtles are saying. *clip of turtle saying “like omg!”

The turtle you just saw is Nessy she’s the sassy one, and the Alpha Turtle in this swamp, which by the way is the most fabulous, the most glamorous, the most exclusive swamp in the USA. *Show clip of nasty stinky swamp* Beyonce tried to get in last month, but she was turned away. *Show clip of Beyonce punching a wall* Nessy’s tittles (baby turtles) are all almost as fabulous as she is.

Nessy: “Don’t pretend you aren’t jealous,” *Show clip of Nessy and all her tittles with bedazzled shells*

Clarisse is the sweetie pie, and the youngest shes never bitten a single human, or even pet. Were just waiting for he to become a firecracker. But for now shes just boring. *Show nice turtle being pet by humans*

Clarisse: “I just think we should all get along”

Gertrude is the oldest, don’t mess with her. *Show slowest turtle ever*

Gertrude: “Get off my side of the river bank  you crazy kids!”

Olga is the troublemaker, not only has she amputated four and a half hands, she also amputated her mate’s left foot. *Show clip of Olga biting a male turtle* Good thing these rocky ladies don’t mate for life. *show her moving on and walking away with new mate*

Olga: “I’ve been bad ever since I was a tittle.”

And our favorite,

Tiffany. The spoiled brat. *show montage of Tiffany hissing and throwing tantrums* She always gets her way, if she doesn’t she develops super turtle strength and races after anything that moves to snap it. *Show turtle chasing cheetah*
Tiffany: “Everyone loves me! If you don’t I WILL SNAP YOU!”